'' We live with each other, but do not know what it means to live as a couple. We can live together for years without to know this. Look around the world: people live together, nobody lives alone: husbands with wives, wives, husbands, parents with children, children with friends. All live with other people. Life exists only in combination, but you know what association? You live with one wife for 40 years and you have not even lived with her for a moment. Even when you make love to her think about other things. There are currently, and love becomes a mechanical act.
Kent Stevenson was led to the movies with his wife. They were married for 20 years. The film which was led by love. Upon leaving, his wife said, "Kent, you never make love to me as did those actors. Why? "Stevenson replied," Are you crazy? You know how those actors were paid to do such things? "
People live beside each other, but not love. Love not only where you can get some benefit from your love. How can you love someone if you expect to get anything from it? Love becomes a commodity. It is no longer a relationship, a partnership, a celebration. Not happy when you're next to each other; the more you tolerate.
Kent Stevenson's wife was dying. Kent's doctor told him: "Stevenson, must be honest with you; In such moments, it is best, to be honest. Your wife can not be saved. The disease has advanced too much, so we have to be prepared. Try not suffer accept fatality. This is your destiny. Your wife will die. " Stevenson replied: "Do not worry, doctor. If we suffer with her for so many years, I can endure a few hours! "
We, at most, tolerate each other. And when you think in terms of tolerance, life in couple becomes suffering. This explains why Jean-Paul Sartre said that other means hell with him ... for you only to suffer, you are dominated. The other worry you and you lose your freedom and happiness. Life in the couple becomes a routine, something to is supported. If you just tolerate each other, how can you know the beauty of life together? It's impossible.
Marriage means celebration couple life. It can not be reduced to a certificate. No civil status office celebrate together if the other is not simply another if you're not just you. The two are no longer two, there was a bridge between them, they have become one. From the physical point of view, they remain two, but in terms of their inner being, they become one. Maybe they are the two poles of existence, but their existence is one. A bridge appeared.
can not give you a marriage, any priest can not do this but. The marriage means a huge revolution in terms of being a huge transformation of the mode of life that can not occur unless the state
It is very rare to encounter a true marriage. People live together because it's more convenient. This is the main reason for joining. Living alone is not at all profitable. Spend more. That's why most people get married. Their motives are negative.
A man would marry. A friend asked, "You were always against marriage. How come you changed your mind? "The man replied:" Winter is approaching and is likely to be very cold. Heating costs beyond me and my wife find a cheaper ".
This is the logic. Live each other because it is more comfortable, more convenient, cheaper. To live alone is really hard. A wife you can solve so many things. I can do housework, you can cook, can be a maid, a housekeeper - so many. She is the cheapest labor in the world. Makes so much without being paid at all. Marriage is a form of exploitation, not an act of communion. Therefore, normally it does not lead to happiness. No way. How might arise from the roots of flower nectar exploitation?
There are also so-called your saints, which states that you are unhappy because you live in the family, in the outside world. They say, "Give up everything, leave everything." Their logic seems fair, but it's not really so, but because ye have known communion. If you know happiness through communion and you mock the saints. Who knew the happiness of the communion, who has known the true marriage, to know love, that is the most direct path to divinity. But you do not know the communion and live together without knowing what this means; live in this way for 70-80 years without knowing what life is. Lost without taking root in the fertile soil of life. Move from one moment to the next without any savor.
The science of living life gives you no birth; it is not hereditary. Life appears with the birth, but wisdom, experience, ecstasy be learned. That is why I insist so much on meditation. Taste of life must be learned. You have to grow, to mature so you can live. Life can not be known until maturity. But you live and die like children. Do not increase again. Do not reach maturity.
What is maturity? Being baked in sexually mature does not mean to be. Ask the psychologists: they claim that adult mental development stops at 13-14. The physical body continues to grow, but the mind stops its growth at the age of 13-14 years old. No wonder that you are behaving foolishly so that your life is just a long string of mischief! A mind that has not grown not only nonsense.
If you feel sad, ask yourself: "Whose fault is that?" If you accept that it is your fault, sooner or later you will cease to do many things that we do today. In fact, this is the essence of the ancient theory of karma. You are solely responsible. Stop saying that society is responsible because your parents are to blame, that the economic situation has brought in this state; do not throw the responsibility on others. You are solely responsible. At first, you may find it a burden because you can not blame anyone else. But should you assume ...
Kent Stevenson Someone asked: "Why are you so sad?" Kent said: "My wife insisted not to play cards and other games, not to smoke and not to drink. I gave up all these things. " To which the man replied, "Your wife must be very happy now." Stevenson: "That's the problem. Now there's nothing to complain about, so it's very unfortunate. Now he can not make me responsible for her unhappiness. I thought if I renounce all these things a happier to see her, but became more unhappy than ever. "
If you continue to throw the responsibility on others and everyone should do what you tell them to do, sooner or later you kill yourself, because you've never had on whom to blame. Therefore, it is good to keep a few flaws. That helps others to be happy. If there were a perfect husband in the world, he would leave his wife. How can you dominate a perfect husband? Therefore, even if you will not make some mistakes because your wife so you can dominate and be happy! If there is somewhere a spouse perfect, the safe solution is divorce. Find a perfect man and you will automatically be against it because you can not condemn him, you can not assign any mistakes.
Our minds love to complain and throw the responsibility on others, for in this way feel good, do not feel responsible. But this release is very expensive. She is not real, on the contrary, the burden is becoming greater and greater, without us realizing it.
People live without knowing what life is. They did not reach adulthood do not integrate are not centered. They live only on the periphery. If your periphery meets the periphery of others, clashes are inevitable. On the other hand, if you are always concerned about other people's mistakes, you can not live only on the periphery. If you realize that 'I am solely responsible for my existence; I am the reason that caused this, "then your consciousness suddenly move from the periphery to the center. Only now starting to become the center of your existence. From now you can do many things. If you do not like something, you can discard it; if you like something, you can adopt. If you find something real, you can follow; if you feel that is not true, you can avoid it because now you are centered and rooted within you.
Always remember that when you are with someone could be the last time. Do not waste time with nonsense; do not create conflicts and fights for minor reasons. When death is approaching, nothing matters. If someone says or does something that annoys you, remember death. Think that this man is about to die. Who cares if the words or deeds? Maybe not even had the intention to annoy; maybe it's just your interpretation. Of 100 cases, 99 are rather a personal interpretation.
And remember: when you are with someone, it is not the one we knew before because everything changes. You can not enter the same river twice and can not meet the same person twice. You can meet with father, mother, brothers, your friends, but they are not the same; They have changed. Nothing stays the same. And you've changed, you are no longer the same ... If you remember these two things, love will flourish more easily in you. When you meet someone, do it as if it first. Do it, however, as it would be for the last time. For these things are so. If you have this perspective, this little moment of the meeting will get the incredibly deep significance.
When the body's energy increases sexual energy turns and changes its quality. The need for sex is becoming smaller and smaller, and the need for love getting bigger. When facing down energy turns into sex, and it goes up into love. But do not expect to occur. Dear increasingly more people. Get a wasteful with your love. Love your friends, love even strangers. Love the trees and stones. Important is to love. If you sit on a rock and live a feeling of love for it, you will find that stone will respond. You feel it almost immediately. Stone no longer a simple stone. Tap a tree with love and you will find that it will respond in kind. The tree you will love it. Love what you are doing. Even when you eat, eat loving; chew food with love. When you take a shower, feel the water falling on your body and answer them with love and gratitude - for sacred is everywhere and everything is sacred. When you understand that everything is sacred, you will not yearn for love, for it will flow over you everywhere.
Jealousy is very complicated. It contains many ingredients. Cowardice is one of them, selfishness is another. Desire is not love but monopolizing possession, a tendency to be competitive and a deeply rooted fear of being inferior ... Many things are included in jealousy. You love a person - or at least, you think you love ... If you really love, jealousy is impossible. If you see that a person loves someone else, you will be blessed: and this is the person you love happy with someone else: everything you want is for her to be happy. Do not you feel jealous / jealous, but on the contrary, a grateful person that makes you happy loved ... This is true love - a rare species. For most people, love is to possess that person. You "love" a person and that means that person must not love anyone else. If it does, insults you, you show that you are inferior, that there are better people, more loved than you. That hurts your ego, possessiveness hurts you, hurts you wish to monopolize. In essence, it is cowardice for not trying to face reality honestly, directly. The problem is not that man loves you loved someone else, but if you really love that person. If you love her, nothing matters.
Love gives freedom. Love allows any man feels he wants to be able to do. If you love a person, not interfering with her privacy. Not being the break. Do not you want her to give an account of where she was? Not better. It's her life you love a person and so is she. Do not violate your privacy. Do not open the letters, do not look through her pockets in her diary, address book with phone numbers. Do not try to look for clues. All of these are bad things. You have to accept reality. If you do not, you coward. And to hide your cowardice, doing a case of jealousy. In reality, you have problems, just your ideas get you in trouble. I can not conceive that if two people really love each other, quarreling ever for any reason, try to impose to try to stop the other from what he wants to do.
The basic requirement is love: you accept the other as he is. When you love, you do not try to change according to your idea about her person. Do not try to adjust it here and there, to bring it to the appropriate size - as is done all over the world, for that matter. People who believe that love is continually harassing each other, trying to create the image that other dream. They want to be a puppet and other strings to be in their hands. And so does the other with you. So there will be a permanent conflict, misery, and pain.
And then we wonder: why poets have written so many beautiful things about love? - Because nothing seems to happen in reality! Love exists only in poetry. The truth is that most poets have ever loved. They are in love with the idea of love and create beautiful stories. Or maybe they loved but failed, so as to console, create the opposite situation in their poems. It's as compensation. In life they missed, so I wrote translate into a fantasy that he wanted to live real, to forget the ugliness of their lives. So be loved poets do not and never have known the agony of love, or have known her agony and ecstasy wanted to know.
Cowardice is tormenting you. Simply, faces the reality. If you love a man, then there conditions. If you love him, then who are you to put conditions? If you love him, you love him as if not love him, no problem - he is the one for you, so what conditions to put them? He can do anything he wants to do. But you have to analyze your feelings honestly. And the direct encounter with your own feelings will show you the way. Just trying to see what really feel for each other and jealousy will disappear. In most cases, with jealousy, and love disappears. But that's a good thing because what's the point of the part of a jealous love, which really does not love? But if jealousy disappears and love remains consistent when you have something that is worth living. ''
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